Learning to Accept Rather than Reject.

One of the most difficult things for me is accepting money. Perhaps, it's because I hate feeling indebted to someone. Maybe it's because I've always been a sucker for guilt. Whatever the reason may be, it has proved to be very difficult to accept the green bills graciously. My mother keeps buying me little things, and why they may be necessities in the life of a "broke college student" (such as socks, clothing items, etc; or not necessary such as coffee) I feel oh so guilty. I've been reprimanded several times already for pushing away the spoiling affection from my mother. I'm sorry, Mom. It's difficult for me to accept gifts when I would much rather give them.

As a result, I've decided that my goal for this Christmas will be to ACCEPT IT, NOT REJECT IT.

• I will accept my mother's unnecessary spoiling.
• I will accept the cash that she hands me and I will continue to ask her for more (eek, my heels will not reluctantly dig into the ground) if I do not have enough to see friends.
• I will not fret if I don't get them gifts until the days after Christmas because its not that big of a deal.
• I will not think about all the things I have done wrong, because I'm here on Christmas vacation.
• I will eat as much food as I want to, whether it be healthy or not.
• I will allow myself days of sleeping in and not worry about the things that "need" to get done.
• I will relax and not think ill of the future.

In addition I'm going to try and make a Christmas list. Why "try" to make one? Well, I never know what to ask for. Usually, if I want something really special, I save up for it and buy it myself. So here it goes:

• Burts Bees chapstick.
• new ink pens
• memory card reader (although I might not wait that long. I'm in desperation to upload my photos already)
• (eighteen minutes later, not an exaggeration)...socks?...geez this shouldn't be difficult. I get back to this later.