A Continuation of Midnight Ramblings

I really must be insane. It's my only logical conclusion at this point in time. It is Thanksgiving night and I am waiting for three hours to pass by so I can go shopping with my mom for Black Friday sales...that doesn't sound sane in any way. I'm attempting to write this but so far I've been distracted numerous times.

I made my grandma's homemade apple pie today...the top crust was a fail but it was yummy nonetheless. It was my first thanksgiving here in WA and I had a good time, but I missed my other family members too. I guess they had new york strip instead of turkey in Ohio...I'm still rather jealous. They also made my "oops I overcooked the potatoes so lets make mashed potatoes instead" recipe haha. I came up with it last year by adding bacon, onions cooked in a little beer and garlic. yummm.

It's taking a lot from me to not pull down one of my books right now. I know that once I begin, I'll not do anything else (like homework, etc). Two more weeks and I'll be able to read until my eyes pop out, yay....I just came to the conclusion that by writing on here I'm not particularly accounting my day or discussing something meaningful...I'm simply talking to myself....oh dear.

...I'm not sure I want to continue..

Footprints of Ink

I cannot focus today. I'm being stubborn on purpose, and I know it. I feel like a five-year-old slamming my fists on the ground because I know things need to be done, but I really don't want to do them. I have a paper that is due Wednesday, I have laundry flowing over the rim of my hamper and spilling on the floor, I have a headache, the weather is gray and gross, and I have this over whelming urge to crawl under my covers and sleep for a few days.

All of these things have contributed to my bitter mood today and I hate how cynical I sound. Please forgive me if I say something mean and unnecessary, please? I'm truly sorry. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed out, and I feel burnt out. I don't know how to fix this. I don't know what to do right now in order to make myself feel better.

It is immensely difficult to sit down and feel this urge to write something that has nothing to do with my class or the newspaper, and not be able to properly convey how I am feeling. All my words taste dry on my tongue and when I write it's as if my pen is barely full of ink. I hope that this christmas break will prove to be energizing.

I know I'm on the right path but its like I'm walking around aimless without dropping breadcrumbs, just in case.

I Can Hear My Monotone

Despite the fact I have been writing constantly, it has been far too long since I last recorded my stupid little thoughts on this stupid little blog. Why have it? I'm still trying to answer that question...I should be writing another paper for my college class, but I have literally tossed it aside out of frustration. I feel brain-dead. I feel exhausted. I feel like I still have a lot of catching up to do.

Recently my life has revolved around: my Marketplace of Ideas class, The Olympian newspaper (where I will be hired to work for next quarter), my volunteer work at Children of the Nations, my addiction to caffeine despite my lack of income, the newspaper, writing, and not nearly enough sleep. I had to drop my math class because I couldn't manage my time properly anymore. There are so many things I need to do, I want to do, and I keep forgetting to do.

I feel as if my brain is slowly being nuked by the microwave I associate with college. Everyday I go find some caffeine to intake in order to get my thoughts flowing. It lasts for a while...eventually I crash, burn, and either nap or play Nintendo 64 Mario on the projector screen.

Yesterday, I went with Kaylee to Seattle. We both chopped off our long hair, went to the art museum, and ate fantastic pasta. That was a lovely day :] Today, I went back to Seattle with my family and saw the Harry Potter movie in the Imax theater. We got the best seats ever (thank you Miranda for temporarily being in a wheelchair?) and afterwards walked through the Harry Potter exhibition. I was sorted into Ravenclaw, I pulled Mandrakes from pots, and I sat in Hagrid's big, leather chair. It was another good day.

I miss my best friends...still. I think I mentioned this in my last post...I still miss my family too.

..Geez, this sounds so pathetic.