A Long and Overdue Reflection on Intellectual Candy and How I Would be Diabetic in Another Reality

If I were to say that it feels like forever since I've written anything on here, I can imagine you pointing at your computer screen and accusing me of being Captain Obvious. My absence can only be explained by the odd absence of words; it startles me that I suddenly stopped writing in the amounts like I have always done. I have saved my words for the margins of my old novels with cracked spines and rough pages. I look back at my entries from a year ago and I still read the words of a lost girl, who does not know what to do with her life and how she will get there successfully. To write of all these deeper feelings is like admitting defeat, admitting with great reluctance that I cannot see how I have changed in this past year. Here I am, freshly nineteen, and I feel like I've failed at growing up. Doesn't anyone else feel this desperate, panic-filled cloud settling down upon them? This air has become humid with the summer heat and I am struggling to enjoy myself like I believe I should.

College this year has been equivalent to candy. Each quarter felt like a new treat, a new opportunity, and I would gorge myself with as much information as possible until somewhere along the line I'd become aware of the sickening twirl of my stomach. The worries would consume me. I'd question everything, lose all interest in the taste of such sugary goodness, and do my best not to admit how ashamed and embarrassed I was for not listening to my parents; I should have moderated my diet....and then it continues again.

What can I say for my behavior? Nothing. I cannot even appease myself. Therefore I read my worn copies of Anna Karenina and The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana and To Kill a Mockingbird and my latest obsession, Reading Lolita in Tehran. I read; I underline words that make me want to weep, that make me cry silently, that make my heart skip a beat with their lovely prose and the ordinary words that only have personal significance. I wish I had an idea for a book. I'd write it and prove to myself perhaps that I am passionate about writing but able and able to finish something, finish anything, too. I completely immerse myself in the fictional pages that are haphazardly stacked under and around my bed, and I write about it all in my little leather book.

This is my game of hide and seek: I take my little Italian-made notebook to whatever sort of place. I sit. I write. My observations scratch the surfaces of those creamy pages (with the black inked pen I had so meticulously chosen that morning) and I drink my tea or coffee in silence. And when you see me, approach me, strike up an ordinary comment that carefully follows the rules of conversation between strangers, At least it is not raining this morning...Were you in my last college class? History, right?...Do you know when the next bus arrives?... when you break my silence with your words I look at you with a smile and decide it is time to move on. I feel caught like a child stealing more candy.

How I wish I could moderate my sweets.

How to Write an Academic Paper (and maintain relative sanity)

I wanted to write this blog entry for myself and because I wanted to share it with everyone who has ever struggled with writing a paper. I took honors and AP English classes, I read and write constantly, I've had to do a research paper for each year of high school, and I admit (embrace the nerd!) that I love researching things. That said, I know how to write a paper.

The usual set back is that I cannot write a good research paper, or I cannot get enough length of solid material, or I cannot accomplish both of these things without losing my head. I hope you can use any of this to your advantage. Most of it is from my ENG 101 and ENG 102 classes from college.

10 Steps to Guide You on Your Quest

1. Brainstorm parallel or intersecting ideas (or rather points of agreement versus points of conflict) that you came across in your sources. Think of this step as making a pool for all those scattered thought processes; once they're down on paper it will be easier to keep track of them.
   
   
2. Next, write down some of the main ideas, themes, concepts or terms that you can pull from your idea pool.
   
   
3. Narrow down this list even further and pick a topic that you are interested in and that you can see yourself having enough to write about for your paper requirements. [Remember to have it be balanced so your paper, for example, won't be too broad and result in a very scattered, unorganized final paper. On the other hand, too narrow of a topic might not provide you with enough resources to reach your goal length.]
   
   
4. Time for Quote-Mining! Reread your notes and sources to find quotes you may want to use within your paper. Type them up (later all you'll have to do is copy/paste them) and cite them.
   
   
5. If you think it will help make the organization process easier for your paper, move quotes around on the document; group quotes together that are similar in ideas or that support your argument in the same way.
   
   
6. Quote Sandwiches! These are the probably the quickest way to write thorough, organized paragraphs.
• Introduction: [identify source (might also establish ethos or credibility), context, significance]
• Evidence: [either a quote or paraphrase. Cite correctly]
• Analysis: [Breaks down, interprets, and connects to your claim. Also is the transition to next idea, or quote sandwich.]
  
  
7. Write a conclusion. Your last chance to leave an impression on the reader and "build their memory" regarding your thesis.
   
   
8. Write an introduction. Now that you actually know the point you wanted to make in your paper, you can better introduce the reader to your topic or ease them into your thesis. Consider the different ways you can capture their attention, prepare and interest your reader, and how to best present your argument.
   
   
9. Make sure you write your paper with enough time to put it away for a while. Proofing your paper works best, not a 4 a.m. with another cup of coffee, but after taking a day of rest for sanity's sake. When you reread your paper, try to forget everything you already know about it from your research and pretend to be a new reader, or just have someone else read a copy of it too. Multiple opinions can strengthen your paper because they can point out stupid grammar mistakes as well as show you if they got lost in a transition, etc.
   
   
10. Final step: Revel in your glory and satisfaction...then get some sleep.

Some Useful Links:

• After searching through those stupid databases for sources try The Free Library (also might provide you with interesting topics for a paper): http://www.thefreelibrary.com/
• College usually gives you more freedom to write about some pretty cool things (like Facebook, Wikipedia, or zombies...all of which I've included in previous papers). This site features videos of really interesting, intelligent people talking about their really interesting, intelligent ideas. *Warning* this site could prove to be as detrimental to your writing process as it could prove to be helpful: instead of staying on track you may find yourself procrastinating for hours watching neat videos rather than writing: http://www.ted.com/talks
• Not much to say here except, thank you creators of this site. Your guide to anything dealing with general writing or MLA format. Bookmark this and use it: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/
• Although you should always double check to see if comes out correctly (use link above to do so), here is a link to a citation generator: http://www.easybib.com/