I hate calling you. I hate having to hear your voice and feeling really sad inside. Out of everyone that I miss, I think of you least because I miss you so much that it is easier to deal with it that way. I miss my father- the one who didn't give me life, but who helped me through it when I looked for help. I miss the person who always reached out their hand to show me what happened was a lesson, not a death sentence. You have always been waiting for the storm to blow over to help me crawl out of my hole of insecurities and be the sturdy rock I needed. I would never suggest that one parent is better than another because that is an impossible evaluation to make. But I am saying that I only miss you so much because you are my dad and it is impossible not to miss you.
You and I- we have always connected without having to say anything at all. Whether it was through music, humor, or conversations around a campfire at two o'clock in the morning; you've never failed to inspire me to be a better person and look at the world differently.
I love you for everything that you have ever done, but there are times like today when I also dislike you for it. Quite simply, all of these great things make me miss you more.
Love,
Your daughter.
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