KABOOM.

and my head explodes...

i don't think i can survive this. its eating away at my well being and i wish all of my homework would just randomly disappear. i cannot wait until summer any longer; when the weather is so warm it seems to dissolve away all of my problems, the days seem endless, and i'm being crazy with my friend Renae. some how, some way i have to get a research paper draft done, a history project completed, and study for my biology 2 test that's tomorrow morning. i cannot fail. please, don't let me fail! if i fail, i fall. when i fall, i can hardly move; my body becomes mangled and my thoughts surrounded in depressing bliss. maybe that's an exaggeration on how much i actually care about schoolwork. lets consider it more of a generalization on my life as a whole, shall we?

if only duct-tape and paperclips worked on everything, eh? wouldn't that be wonderful... cross my heart and hope to die, maybe there's no more hope for me. what the hec is L-O-V-E anyways? I bet its all my imagination, maybe it doesn't even exist...its not like i'm asking for a future husband here. can't a girl just have someone to talk to and to trust? a little love in the world wouln't hurt, would it? would a little love hurt? maybe the world has a broken heart too. although, the difference between us would be the world got its broken heart through countless disappointments after thousands of years...i'm still a bit broken after only one. does staying somewhat broken after all this time because of some stupid "relationship" (for lack of a better word) mean i'm weak? or does it mean i'm simply cynical about it all, previously full of the illusion that everything would be a fairytale and even the heartbreaks would be okay-not one ever hurting me? it feels like everyone else has gotten more than one chance except me: a chance to be happy.

911, please call an ambulance to clean up this mess.